Miley Cyrus

Quite honestly, I'm through with crticizing her. I'm more curious to see where she's going with this and what she's going to end up like in 10 years.

Lady GaGa

OH. MY. HOLY. MOTHER. OF. GOD.This is…this is just…HOLY SHIT. I never actually thought Lady Gaga was actually gaga enough to do something like THIS:


An act of homicide against the Kermit population. This is just…inexcusable, I mean…HOLY MOTHER SHIT. HER DRESS IS MADE OF KERMIT THE FROGS STAPLED TO A LEOTARD. WHAT THE EFFF?!?!?!?! Lady Gaga has…officially gone bonkers. And I don’t mean the bonkers I always use on everyone. I mean, she is BONKERS. Who, in their right mind, would wear a MUPPET? My point exactly: Lady Gaga, is NOT in her right mind. I put up with the bubble dress, leotards, bunny-hair-bows, and crazy apeshit she’s done before, but this is just WAAAAY TOO FAR. SHE CROSSED THE LINE WHEN SHE DONNED THE FIRST KERMIT.
Lady Gaga, this means WAR.

Ashlee Simpson (...Wentz)

You know, Ashlee S-W is really starting to get up there with Audrina Patridge:

What is this? Is this even okay for a mom? Let me just like, clarify for you what this mother is wearing:
1. A leather bustier
2. A sparkly mini mini skirt
3. A long necklace that could be used as a sex toy

Is this okay?!?! No!!! She just needs to shape up and get her act together. This is ridiculous. I just…AHIADSFPU*9kedsiflobsyofpJKLSDUF^T&^&OLJKF. I CAN’T EVEN TALK.

Megan Fox

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, Megan. We were doing so well. And now you have to go and do this?!?! No!!!! This is NOT okay!!! This goes beyond Lisa Rinna crotchiness. This is just bad. Bad, bad , bad, bad, bad. At any second, there could be an updraft of wind and guess what? You’re left defenseless. The paparazzi would not only get a nice shot of your crotch for a good three seconds, but of your buttocks as well because that slit may as well be hovering over your crack. I don’t even care about the fact that your nipples are showing (for now); this slit problem is just too much. You know what? Fine! I try to help you, you’re doing fine, everyone thinks you look hot, and then BOOM! Instant and epic failure. I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re happy, because you won’t be receiving MY help anymore! So Megan, I have only one last thing to say to you: Goodbye, and good riddance!

P.S. But of course, if you ever feel like calling me for some advice and beg for forgiveness, I’d be glad to help you. Or if you even if you just want to talk about how you get your legs so fit and nice and give me a few hints.
Now really, goodbye!

Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie, if I were your kid I would seriously be scared shitless. I don’t want to be harsh, but seriously. YOU’RE A MOM NOW. You can’t go around dressing like this anymore. In most cases, when celebrity moms have a kid, they switch gears and turn into perfect mommie and never show more skin than some cleavage, and act and dress more mature and overall look like an adult and mom. You look like you’re 16. If I were your kid all grown up and flipping through a photo album of you, I’d think you were my older sister. That’s not to say you can’t ever dress with that hippie-vibe you always have, but really. You have a kid and another’s gonna pop out soon. I’d start looking a little more mom-like.

Taylor Momsen

HOLY SHIT.

Literally on the Holy. Does anyone know where she is? Let’s give a few suggestions, shall we? A.) the mall b.) church c.) hell, for wearing that to church or d.) GO DIE. The correct answers would be: b, c, and d for a few. Yes folks, Taylor Momsen, fifteen years old, is going to CHURCH. DRESSED AS A HOOKER. I've let past ensembles slip past my eye even though she always dresses WAAAAAAAY to old for her age, but this is just going too far. Taylor: YOU’RE GOING TO FREAKING CHURCH. THE PLACE WHERE YOU WORSHIP. THE PLACE YOU PRAY. THE PLACE YOU PAY RESPECTS FOR GOD. WHO’S GOING TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WEARING THAT?!?!?!