“Hi. My name is Gwyneth Paltrow, and I’m an actress. You may have seen me in my Oscar winning performance in Shakespeare in Love. And now, because I’m all rich and famous and I have a sweet husband and I can give my kids weird-ass names and I have my very own blog and I’m rich and famous, I’m allowing myself to wear dresses that are crazy-tastic and bizarre and unflattering because I CAN. Yep, just like Obama can, yes I can. I’ve got smudges on my boobs and a slash on my shoulder, but who cares. I’m rich and famous and I named my daughter Apple. GO ME.”
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