Victoria Beckham

This just made my day.

Y'see, I love little numbers like this because it means I will be able to use many, many, many tags. Those boots will certainly get a few, as will her tan, hair, make-up, and her dress, of course. In fact, don't even pay attention to the post. Just go straight to the tags.

AHHHHH, STUPID RULES WON'T LET ME HAVE OVER 200 CHARACTERS FOR TAGS. Alright, just know that the orignial length of tags was MUCH longer.

Chloe Sevigny

Um. Chloe. I know I should love and cherish you but…really? I wonder if she got hooked on drugs or something. I mean…well…firstly, you’re hair doesn’t even look that good as usual. I bet she shaved it off. It’s probably a wig. People magazine did a pretty accurate description for describing it as a ‘do that can "compete with Donald’s." Except even Trump’s is better than this. And Chloe, what’s with all these scallops? I let you go the first couple hundred times, but really, are you that much in the mood for scalloped potatoes? It’s the drugs. They’re shaped like scallops. She can’t stop obsessing over them now. And I’ve heard of short shorts, but honey, those are just enough to make me wonder your vag will come out singing ‘Hello Dolly!’ Hehe. Which would actually be pretty funny if you think about it. Lastly, your shade of skin is enough to compare with Michael Kors. Not Valentino, mind you, but still. Bad enough. Just…run along home and take off this concoction, go back to your real, lovely hair, and wipe off your spray tan with the hotel towel. You’ll feel much better, I promise.

Kanye...and Friend

So I guess it's cute they shaved their heads together to match:


Aw…www? It’s nothing compared to what Kruger’s boy toy did for her eye surgery, but I guess this is still cute. Ish. Kanye looks fine and dandy, but his girlfriend is really having me worry that her boobs are close to exploding like Mt. Vesuvius at any second. I’m pretty sure I can already see her left areola just waiting to burst free like a hot water pipe.

Victoria Beckham

You know what upset me even more than the fact that she’s way too tan (even for an oompa loompa), wearing what would be Betty Boop’s get up if she were a super hero, that her boobs looking extremely cone-like, and her shoes look like they came out of a Dr. Suess book? The fact that she didn’t take David with her. Come on. How could she?
NOT.

Anne Hathaway

Don't worry; I'm quite calmed down now. I just needed a few seconds to...release my anger, so to speak. But anyways, moving on. Who? Oh yes, Anne Hathaway:

Yes. Quite a look here, Annie. The dress is pretty. Perhaps the wrong color, considering you’re so beautifully pale next to Mr. Oompa Loompa over here, and there’s not much boundary between where it (the dress) ends and where you start. A lot of meshing colors. So much, that it really just looks like you’re nude (oh no: I seriously accidentally misspelled that as ‘nood.’ I fail.) with many of pink splotches trailing the length of your boday, resulting in you looking as if you've just gotten a very fatal and incurable disease. But, I still think it’s pretty. Ish. And let’s talk hair, shall we? I’ll sum it up, nice and quietly: NO.