Olsen Twins

I am...actually relatively impressed by this.

Sure, hair roots are showing, Ashley's wearing a moth-eaten sweater, and Mary-Kate's wearing a vampire's kimono; but look on the bright side of things: Mary-Kate doesn't look like a zombie with make-up done by Marilyn Manson, both are in things I could actually comprehend myself wearing, Ashley has reeeeally nice legs, and both have STELLAR AMAZING SPECTACULAR shoes. Especially MK. I would eat banana peels with slices of moldy blue cheese smothered in rotten nutella for them. I know, I'm so gross. But for those shoes? Oh yeah.

All in all, I believe we should be thankful they're not coming out in witch costumes or bunny ears or trash bags or something. They look normal (for the most part). And for that, I approve.

*Editor's Note*: Believe it or not, a little while after this outing Ashley and Mary-Kate actually DID wear bunny ears to an event. Ha! am I psychic or what?

Ooooooooolsen Twins

You know, I oddly love this:



Mary-Kate actually looks, dare I say it, relatively normal. She’s wearing a dress (I’m pretty sure at least, it’s very covered), I’m not sure what’s on it but never mind that, she’s wearing a jacket that isn’t too big for her, she’s carrying a something that actually looks like a bag, her shoes (although CRAZILY high) are nice, I guess, her hair looks normal for once, and I strangely don’t have a problem with those glasses and find them curiously adorable. It’s a tribute to John Lennon; who doesn’t love John Lennon? As for the other sister:

Well Ashley, I can actually say for once that I like your sister’s outfit better than yours.
Wait, I think the world just stopped turning.
Now that it’s back in motion and rotating like it should be, lemme just tell you why I don’t like this. 1. Oh my god, I just realized I don’t have enough reasons to start a list because you’re barely wearing anything but a stupid dress! Garrghhh!!! I wish I could find something, just one, itty bitty thing to complain about but I can’t because this is so boring!!! Sigh. Just…go. Leave. Go have fun with your boyfriend. I can’t…I can’t deal with this right now.

Olsen Twins

To sack, or not to sack…that is the question. Unfortunately for us, it wasn’t Hamlet making this speech, but rather…well, actually it wasn’t Ashley Olsen either. It was just me pretending to be her conscious. Okay, moving on from the details, I wonder if that’s what she was thinking while she was picking this. She should know that with a petite frame such as hers, this would definitely NOT do wonders for her. As cool as the back jewel is, I’m not going to consider this in the low-back race just because I only think it’s that low because she bought it 100 sizes too big. But, since I don’t want to be negative Nancy over here, I will admit her hair and make-up is fine. Now, moving onto the other twin:

Umm. Let’s just not and say I did, okay?