Oh, ho, ho, ho. Miley. Dear, dear, dear Miley. You don’t know how happy you’re making me right now. How so, you ask? No, no, it’s not because you look stunning darling. Oh no. It’s quite the opposite. It’s how BAD you look here that’s making me grin foolishly. Let me start with your hair: I’m Mclovin’ the extensions here. So natural looking. And are those blonde highlights with dark brown hair or, as I call it, skunk hair? Oh, good choice, very good choice. And I’m loving that there’s one stray strand of straight hair against a sea of waves. Now, the face: I see you’ve gotten a tan. Whether it’s real or not, I don’t know; but I’m just so glad you chose to go with the tanner the better. Who needs pale? No one looks good in it. Not Anne Hathaway, Evan Rachel Wood, Scar Jo, Keira Knightley, Rachel Weisz…nope, no one. And you’re eyebrows…is it just me, or am I spying some darker colors there, heh? So good, so good. They have to match the hair after all, even if they slightly resemble Groucho Marx. But who doesn’t love Groucho? Last time I checked, he was a winner in my book! I’m going to skip over your make-up for now –who cares if it looks like you’re 30? That’s the new look, isn’t it; 16 going on 47?- and go straight to your dress. Can I sum it up in four words?: Heaven with Carmen Miranda. Don’t forget the fruit next time though!
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