Jennifer Hudson

So I'm a big Jennifer Hudson fan. When she debuted in Dreamgirls, I was going crazy for her and couldn't help but think: "DAAAAAAAAANG." She's talented (that doesn't even begin to describe it), she's big and beautiful, she's a proud mama, and she seems like the type of person I could bump into in the street when I'm having a bad day and she'll be all like "Come here and let mama give you a big hug!"
So, when seeing this:

I'm pained. Really, from knees up she looks FANTASTIC. I mean, this woman just gave birth to a baby and look how GREAT she looks. Her make-up is really nice I think, this dress isn't overly shiny and sparkly (you know I tend to hate over-sparkly), and, of course, you can't deny her lovely ladies are looking extremely nice and perky today. But, then our eyes scan down and find those wretched little boots. Quite frankly, I'm not sure why one would wear thigh high boots with a dress that already covers a lot. Show some leg! Let the men drool a little! Because Jennifer, I hate to say but those boots REEEEALLY make your little legs look like little chicken bones. They are tiiiiiiiny. That's not good. Here, I'll lend you some of my make-believe Louboutins to wear, and you can just repay my giving me another big mama hug.

Miley Cyrus

Quite honestly, I'm through with crticizing her. I'm more curious to see where she's going with this and what she's going to end up like in 10 years.

Julianne Moore

Oh, Julianne:

And everything had been going so well. Julianne, you can't simply take your bed sheets and wrap them around yourself in a geisha-like toga like a kid in a ghost costume on Halloween. It just can't be done.

Megan Fox

Alright, so let's not try to deny it:

Megan Fox is looking pretty foxy here. That dress is actually not too bad (almost...cute???) and she looks nice. But really, how can anyone focus on Megan outside of Jennifer's Body? You can ONLY talk about Megan in that movie now, no one talks about her REAL life anymore. I can't tell you how many of my friends (all guys) are super-duper excited to see this movie. Wanna know why? Only for two reasons:

Megan Fox cannibalism and lesbian kiss.

Really, you can't blame them It's pretty much impossible to not like Megan Fox if you're of the male species. It's like, in their BLOOD to find Megan Fox the hottest babe ever to roam the galaxy. So, Megan, I will give you this -- yes, you look good here; but don't be expecting to impress many guys with it; they're all too busy watching the Jennifer's Body trailer for the 1,678th time.

Victoria Beckham

This just made my day.

Y'see, I love little numbers like this because it means I will be able to use many, many, many tags. Those boots will certainly get a few, as will her tan, hair, make-up, and her dress, of course. In fact, don't even pay attention to the post. Just go straight to the tags.

AHHHHH, STUPID RULES WON'T LET ME HAVE OVER 200 CHARACTERS FOR TAGS. Alright, just know that the orignial length of tags was MUCH longer.

Julianne Moore

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!

JULIANNEJULIANNEJULIANNEJULIANNEJULIANNEMOOOOOOORE.

Excuse me, I must rejoice for this. She's talented, she's gorgeous, she's a redhead, and she looks reeeeeeeeeeeeally nice here and I love her so so so much and I wish she would just be in every single movie I watch so I could actually bear and tolerate movies like Transformers 2: Revenge of Stupidity and I wish she would finally win a DAMN OSCAR and I loooooooooooooooooooove her.

If I were Shiva I would have four thumbs up, but alas I only have two.

Audrey Tatou

Poor Audrey.


That cuckoo didn't just fly over the nest, it built one right on her head.